Ok, so I’ll be the first to admit that being patient is definitely not my strong suit. It’s not… but I have a bit of a situation and I think I need to put it all down on ‘paper’ just to make sense of it all. So bear with me, ok?
Most of you know I was in Alabama about a month ago for several weeks – the last weeks of my precious Mamaw’s life. It was, by far, the most humbling experience of my life and spiritually, has helped me by leaps and bounds. She and I had several wonderful talks, especially in the hours before her death. You know, she has never been one to hold her tongue, that’s for sure. Like I’ve said in previous posts – what she had to say hasn’t always been what I wanted to hear, but definitely what I needed to be told.
So the last time I spoke with her, she pulled me close to her and we exchanged several meaningful thoughts and heartfelt words. There were tears shed and it was a moment I will never forget. She looked me straight in the eyes at one point and tells me that she believes with all her heart that Blake (my ex) is who I am supposed to be with. She said that she realized how hard it is for me to humble myself and allow him to prove it, but I need to because she believes that he loves me and that he will always do right by my (our) children.
She passed away less than twenty four hours later.
So I guess you can imagine how that has affected me. I have since broken up with my boyfriend – not necessarily over what she said – but because things just seemed to fall into place so that it happened that way. I’ve decided to focus on school and keep myself in line as far as that goes and to be patient that God will work all things out the way they’re supposed to be worked out. I believe that everything happens for a reason and if it’s meant to be, it will be. Regardless of whether or not she was right – I believe it is my responsibility to my kiddos to provide stability for them and that means I have to focus on school and being a mom… without distractions.
So, today I am thankful for my children and for the opportunity to keep my focus on my education. On a lighter note, as it turns out, I don’t have to drop that english composition class after all – I’m caught up!
Im not going to comment because you know how much I love Bryan. I didnt get the chance to get to know Blake, but he seemed pretty great too. You’re lucky to have two men like them in your life and thats all I will say about that.
I have however, always thought the main focus should be your kids. So you’re definitely right on that one.
well – like i said in my post, this isn’t about blake or bryan – it’s about me doing what i need to do for me and my children. thanks for your input, i know you’ve been there through all of it and i value your friendship so much. 🙂 xo
This is such an honest post…thank you for sharing. Your a strong person Sunshine…and I know you will be okay wherever life takes you.